Want to help…

Your first step in expressing concern is to set aside a time and a place to talk to the person where you know you will have some privacy and will not be disturbed. Approach the person as an interested, concerned human being rather than as an authority figure or critique who knows what is best for the individuals. You might begin by describing the specific behaviors that have raised your concern.

It’s important that you describe specifically to the person the behaviors that have raised your concern. You should avoid global statements like, “You’ve been acting strange lately.” Such statements give the person no real information and may lead him or her to feel judged, self-conscious, or defensive.

If, after describing the behaviors that concern you, he/she does not seem willing to talk, you may want to tell the person about the counseling services available in the area and how to use them or contact the counseling office and ask for advice about how to proceed. Let the person know your availability if he/she changes mind and wants to talk to you at a later time.

When you are referring someone for professional counseling, you should be prepared for resistance. People sometimes feel they should be able to work things out on their own. They may react as though you are implying that they are “crazy” or “sick” if you suggest counseling. Your approach to the person and your personal attitude about counseling are extremely important at this point. It will help if you are familiar with the counseling services and can describe them matter of factually and with confidence.